Godard, Loach, Kurosawa and....

What are the names of those other foreign genius filmmakers who constantly inspire hollywood??






















Hint: you've met them

You'll Understand When You are Older
Today, on my day off, I suddenly had the urge to purchase a new pack of microwave burritos. So instead of lazing around my house doing nothing I went to the grocery store and lo and behold, there they were, 4 damn dollars off!

We've been hanging out so much lately I've started cycling with safeway.

Cam

Not full of bullshit

This is one of those stories I've told often while entertaining large groups in shady places and more oft than not I've gotten that "bitch please" stare.

I know I'm the king of embellishing even the recent history but I just wanted to throw this up to prove that I'm not a complete liar.

When I die you'll all be just like "big fish"

Snappy answers to all those things people probably say about me behind my back

Just because I freak out around girls I like, don't like, small ones, overly tall ones, quiet ones, one's who've attempted to date me and one's with red hair doesn't mean I'm a "total psycho". I'm only kind of a psycho AT BEST.

I'm not racist it's just all my friends of other races in my formative years acted totally white..and I'm totally white...and white people are confused.

I'd be less self-centered if you told me more about yourself.

I'd wear different clothes/get a different haircut if you would take me out and pick styles for me...and buy them.

I'm cheap because I lived off a two dollar a week allowance until I was 17 and it broke my brain.

I'm bad at sex because I know I'm not good kisser so I have to go straight to the playing with breasts.

I know I probably smell like that. I just have a really bad sense of smell and can never trust when odors are at a maximum or minimum enough to be polite.

I'm afraid of girls and bugs because I can't fathom what they are thinking.
I'll realize I'm gay when you realize that outfit is hideous....or when an attractive gay man tries to have sex with me.

I burp and fart all the time because you burp and fart so much I no longer care what you think of me.

I know I don't have an attractive body. I gave exercise a serious try but it just gave me kind of goofy looking arms. And I'll never get rid of my belly...I think I have dangerously large intestines.

I realize it's kind of gauche to be attracted to large breasts but COME ON...have you seen large breasts?

One of my eyes IS slightly more closed than the other. I don't know what to do about it other than keep working on my Peter Falk impressions.

I don't think I'm cooler or smarter than you, I don't hate you and I am paying attention to what you are saying. My regular relaxed face just looks the complete opposite of that.

I spastically twitch all the time because I'm constantly imagining I'm having fun doing things other than what I'm doing right at that moment.

I'm not a "total awkward virgin" just my genitals are.

CAM

Main Attraction

Is the fact that there's always some girl in my class who i'm really attracted to, then flirt with, then stop talking to because she doesn't respond while there's some other girl I don't like who flirst with me one of life's little ironies that happens to everyone?

Or do I have deep seated problems?
I was walking through the AQ today and was oogling a hot girl when she said hello to me.

Then I realized it was a girl I know but kind of hate.

THEN I realized that my dislike of her personality was so strong it made me see her as physically unattractive.

I am the world's most imaginative douchebag...or a gentle soul...

The fact that I'm so attracted to Kristen Wiig either means I'm a whore for celebrities or am just attracted to kind of funny looking 36 year old women.

Either way my high priced male prostitute business is totally gonna take off!

CAM

Helen Mirren gets the "royal" treatment at the Golden Globes
(god I pray i'm the first person to publish that statement)

So this semester came out of left field and turned out to be pretty hard. I wanted to encapsulate my feelings but have yet to find my bearings so hopefully after next week I can explain it.

In the meantime, there are a series of random musings I need to get off my chest.

Today, while doing some research I haven't used a encyclopedia, cd-rom or otherwise, seriously since about early Jr.High

Then it hit me: encyclopedias are total scams JUST LIKE CURMUDGEONS SAY ON 1970s SITCOMS!

Wow. They exist soely for people who are unlearned to feel fancy by having a research library but, in fact, with any real scrutinous research provide little beyond a light skimming over the facts that pales in comparison to even wikipedia.

which I dont count as an encyclopedia because as much as it teaches me academic things it also teaches who has the biggest breasts in the world and keeps me up to date on comics.

Alright, first of two necessary redefinitions.

I personally believe that a lot of actors think they aren't typecast because they get fancy seeming roles that aren't too stock and are deep but honestly, it's time we redefine typecasting.

After watching The Last Kiss and a BBC modernization of The Canterbury Tales (thats right i'm manning up and watching movies before I read the books for class) I realized that a lot of people who think they are fancy and stretching themselves with every part are still just typecast.

Zach Braff is just goofburger guy who also looks sad a lot and deals with emotional things and sometimes swears if the dramatic time is right.

And though Chiwetel Ejiofor (the guy above) has shed the typecasting of "surprisingly well spoken black man" he now seems to be pretty typecast as pro-to-an-tagonist but with deep and challenging motivations.

Every character may be in different situations (space!) and dealing with different things (triflin'!) and sure they have complex motivations and such but if we pull enough away they are all the same dude, no?

maybe I'm just an asshole

I was reading today about the North American release of Lily Allen's Alright Still and was like...damn...

Everyone I know who would have wanted to hear that record downloaded it ages ago and it's just being released now!?!?

We live in a world where internet hype has created international music nerdiness and as someone in North America i think we especially look to the UK to show us some crazy new music to enjoy so the fact that the UK and NA release dates are so far apart is troubling simply for the fact that I know few to no people are going to march out and buy the record even for TWO NEW MIXES!1!!11!11111 (ones are sarcasm marks)

With acts like Amy Winehouse and The Fratellis also garnering at least my personal attention, enough to get frustrated and download, I wonder if we're living in a world where record companies can take a chance and just jump straight into international distribution?

And by take a chance I mean have to...have to or you'll never get my money.

I have to make a large presentation and an assignment for my Art class tomorrow and trying to stick to the spirit of my artist I decided to make part of it a recreation of this photo of Martin Luther King Jr's assassination...because it's timely and all.

I just realized that's probably pretty offensive.

but thats what they get for years of not giving me a day off to ponder this man's greatness.

cam

EDIT has anyone else noticed i've started to only use punctuation at the end of paragraphs? what's up with that?

Adventure Time

I was going to write about my academia and my first week or maybe the layout of the new year in general but I've just been watching this over and over instead

On first days

One thing I'll never miss about University is the first day of classes.

Not due to the worry of new professors, new classes full of potential friends/foes and new material which may finally prove too hard or terrible or boring for me but instead it's the unwritten rule of first days which gets to me the most:

You must be one of the best looking people in class.

There are only two ways to have immediate gravitas and respect in a classroom setting. One is to be profound. Considering you are entering courses which you assumedly know little to nothing about this involves either being a god-gifted genius or an inordinate amount of reading ahead which is, of course, only for dorks.

That leaves me, you and everyone we know with only one other option:
Be within the top five best looking people in the class.

If most people think you are good looking and, god willing, are sexually attracted to you they will care what you say and assume when you say something stupid it was some sort of a slip up to be later made up for with your undoubtedly witty and learned personality. Every time you answer a question wrong you are simply too cool for their structured learning and need some help to understand and every time you get one right, no matter how small, it's a beautiful gem pouring from your gilded lips and means 1000 times more than what a regular or ugly person says.

Think of the last time a fat, sweaty, pimply person in one of your classes got a question wrong. Regardless of how much you like their personality you snickered. Probably out loud. It's the lay of the land folks and it must be realized.

Lucky for most of us the really attractive people ("perfect 10s" or "model hot") don't go to university. They go straight into modeling, acting, singing, high class escorting or get married. If any of them do accidentally matriculate into university they are thankfully shuffled to the questionably academic faculties created, one can assume, by the Greeks and honed by the British system to sit them all in a room together until they eventually fuck, accidentally conceive a child and are forced out of university and back into that working world expressly made for the ultra-hot.

So that leaves us, the 5-9s, with the task of washing our hair and wearing our coolest clothes in an attempt to become the early lead for the aesthetic, and then logically, mental leader of the classroom.

I know what you are saying " I bet if i just wear jeans instead of sweats and put a lot of bobby pins in or a headband on I could get away being in the Top 10 and...well... that's good enough for me"

HA!

You're telling me that you are willing to sit there and say "tell me more, tell me more" while the various other Sandys and Danny Zuckos of the class take all the fawning intellectual attention of the class and the professor. Nobody wants to be Doody or Frenchie COME ON.

So we all must go again into that bright cold morn paying perhaps that the old rocker shirt or year odl designer shoes are enough to put us just ahead of that kid who might be half black or something with crazy hair and the new A Life Wu-Tang gear or that girl who seems like she'd probably be slutty even though she dresses really buttoned down.

Use up your christmas money quick or it's going to be a bumpy year.

CAM

Cureall Maybe you haven't been privy to my various complaints but during my holidays in Edmonton I was struck for numerous days with a pain in my midsection akin to that which follows a series of swift and precise blows to the stomache and guts.

It was completely unexplained, caused me to lose any appetite for a long time and, of course being from a medical family, went completely unchecked out or treated by anyone but the eyeballing of my mother.

It remained in some form or another until I got back to Vancouver where after a day when it abruptly and quiet unscientifically disappeared.

I sat and thought about the difference in what I'd done, how i'd acted and what I'd eaten compared to my Vancouver diet and came to a sad realization:

My body was simply rejecting the lack of alcohol and WASPy cooking that was being crammed into me every day.

I've lost that twitching inch of the gallbladder which can process pound after pound of barely seasoned potato, glazed meat and stews.

Going from a diet of fairly constant curries, wasabi, hot sauced bad cooking and liquor to wash it all down to the familial buffet of 'meals' was just too much to take and rather than keep it all down my stomach itself decided to go on a vacation until I could please it again with whiskey and poppadums.

The nail in the coffin was no matter how much I didn't eat it never got to me. I could go a whole day on a couple of triscuts without a headache or wooziness. My brian agreed, my l iver agreed, and bit that would rumble or hiss locked up completely until I again was the master of excessive and abusive consumption and could give it what it needed.

My body is an intricate set of machines which need to be fuelled properly.

Much like a coal plant or chernobyl.

Addendum to Douchebaggery

I feel like I ought to add a little to that last post.

It's not that I hate everyone for getting more complex or even hate my friendships as they currently exist.

In fact, if anything, I hate that it's seemingly another aspect of social realtions I look at and thing "wha' happen'?"

Everytime you guys start acting in a way which confuses me I feel more like a serial killer...or some nicer cold hearted thing.

A wolverine?

Cam

TWENTY-AUGHT-SIX
Zidane menaces the cast of "highschool musical"

As Kellen thinks he's hilarious for saying "you can't spell Cameron without emo" and as thats the way it is I felt like I ought to give a send off to my general personal feel of 2006.

2006 was the year that friendships got very complex.

Now from the outside this would seem inevitable due to marriages, a few babies and a general increased divide in the couples vs. singles battle but in spite of all of that some new crazy shit has cropped up in the friendship division. Maybe it's due to hitting my fouth year in vancouver or maybe it's my more frequent back and forth travels to Edmonton but friends , and how I have to relate to them have changed.

You see I have two types of friends: The Arcane Knights of Friendship and The Millionaire Playboys of Friendship.

The first group sees friendship as a sacred holy bond constantly teetering on the edge of desturction if one doesnt follow the strict codes and practices of friendship (all of which of course are never disclosed). With them friendship is very much an exchange of friendship as a service or sometimes I suppose as a ... goods. If you've done something good for your friend they can always be counted on to do something good for you , no matter how big or small or annoying or stupid. They do it because you are FRIENDS DAMMIT! In theory these people will take a bullet for you as long as they are assured you will take one for them.
Interestingly though considering it operates on an "I owed you now you owe me" basis the BEST kind of friendship that can be exhibited is taking one for the team. A "you don't owe me" if you will. Thats great and fine and I totally agree that altruism is a fantastic basis for friendship. But there's always a douchebag who's team you realize you've been taking one for for about three months with no love in return. And god help you if you stop being a bad friend. Friendship IS A BOND MAN...A BOND.

Then there's the other group. These people aren't about an exchange of anything. These people are about being awesome. Specifically you and them being awesome and you somehow adding a level of awesomeness to their pre-existing awesome never previously reachable sans you. So long as you both are vibrating and maximum awesome your awe can spin around and rub off on eachother and make both of your lives radical. What, you thought i'd say awesome?
Of course these friends require you be wicked and cool and original 24/7 though which is, of course, quite impossible and doubly so if you are an awkward fellow taken to 4 nights in a week such as myself. While you are awesome these people have your back and will be there for you and defend you arguably better than the previous group especially if it's for no reason at all but man...if you are not awesome for a second expect to need to produce some serious evidence of regained awesomeness to get back on their friendship radar at all.

But the problem isn't these two groups. The problem is how quick people switch from one to the other or have a little bit of each or schizophrenically change their mind as to how they feel on the matter. One day you have to be awesome and then next day you are in shit because you were being awesome and not committing the holy act of altruistic friendship.

I read somewhere stupid recently written by an older person (so they know life...like everyone's life) that living in your twenties was like constantly wrestling a squid. I don't think you actually can wrestle a squid but I will say that friendship complexity, while amusing, is more of a hands on pain in the ass than it used to be.

Though wrestling a squid could get you lots of awesome points.

Cam