Snappy answers to all those things people probably say about me behind my back

Just because I freak out around girls I like, don't like, small ones, overly tall ones, quiet ones, one's who've attempted to date me and one's with red hair doesn't mean I'm a "total psycho". I'm only kind of a psycho AT BEST.

I'm not racist it's just all my friends of other races in my formative years acted totally white..and I'm totally white...and white people are confused.

I'd be less self-centered if you told me more about yourself.

I'd wear different clothes/get a different haircut if you would take me out and pick styles for me...and buy them.

I'm cheap because I lived off a two dollar a week allowance until I was 17 and it broke my brain.

I'm bad at sex because I know I'm not good kisser so I have to go straight to the playing with breasts.

I know I probably smell like that. I just have a really bad sense of smell and can never trust when odors are at a maximum or minimum enough to be polite.

I'm afraid of girls and bugs because I can't fathom what they are thinking.
I'll realize I'm gay when you realize that outfit is hideous....or when an attractive gay man tries to have sex with me.

I burp and fart all the time because you burp and fart so much I no longer care what you think of me.

I know I don't have an attractive body. I gave exercise a serious try but it just gave me kind of goofy looking arms. And I'll never get rid of my belly...I think I have dangerously large intestines.

I realize it's kind of gauche to be attracted to large breasts but COME ON...have you seen large breasts?

One of my eyes IS slightly more closed than the other. I don't know what to do about it other than keep working on my Peter Falk impressions.

I don't think I'm cooler or smarter than you, I don't hate you and I am paying attention to what you are saying. My regular relaxed face just looks the complete opposite of that.

I spastically twitch all the time because I'm constantly imagining I'm having fun doing things other than what I'm doing right at that moment.

I'm not a "total awkward virgin" just my genitals are.

CAM