I'm officially a New Years Grinch.

That said, I'm still going out and trying to be indie tonight, though begrudgingly and with lots of alcohol lubriacting my system.

regardless of what song they play at midnight this will be the song in my head ringing in the New Year.

Mmmm Swedish Girls

Does anyone know if there's an MP3 of that?

And since I'm on a musical kick lately, here's my musical question of 2005:

What is your favorite song by a fictional band?

There are tons of fictional bands and today I decided "Eep Op Ork Ah ah" by Jet Screamer from the Jetsons, based soely on it always being in my head without me ever hearing it tops my list.

so yeah. New years question. get on it bitches

CAM

I am a concerned Individual.

Have you noticed how all the "top albums of the year" lists have come out (both Media-wise and blog pundit-wise) and they are ALL THE SAME? Like I'm only finding interest in whether the writer put Animal Collective at 5 or 7.

I don't know if this means that there weren't many good albums at all or if there were just like 5 or 6 albums(Decemeberists, Animal Collective, Spoon, New Pornographers, Broken Social Scene and of course the constant topper Sufjan Stevens are in almost all lists)that blew everyone away. All the albums are sweet, dont get me wrong, but it's just amazing that almost everyone is willing to have Sufjan as #1 and those other albums in their list. Like we're talking about 15 lists here from people i different countries with different tastes. So...curious...

Also, This is the first year where i've not seen at least 4 albums i've never heard of. Keep in mind I'm not Dock and am fairly uncool in my music selections. I know i havent become cooler, havent read more magazines or talked more music...so why am I suddenly so privvy to this???

I blame the fact that I'm getting nearer the average age of these music reviewers and pundits (or the age they ought to be based on their habits) and suddenly am just absorbing the culture of that age range. Also, to these list makers I should cut a little slack. The thought of having any of the same albums as say, Klosterman, would make me wet my pants a little so I guess I would probably choose the hippest, coolest C.D.s ever and not deviate too much except for maybe some local influence.

Still, I'm concerned.

And I'm an authority as I wear collared shirts, look intently and finally have a new pair of glasses. Oh and I take pictures of myself in Black and White.

CAM

Holiday Idea

Continuing Holiday Coverage
Yesterday I went out with a few friends and played pool. I'm a lot shyer with my camera in Edmonton, so some people who were there werent in photos. Also, i didnt take any photos at the seedy bar we started at. Which puts your "seedy" Vancouver bars to shame.
We used to play pool a lot in grade 10. Like every day after/during school. EVERY day. I never liked it. either because I'm bad or because apparently it's very dangerous.
I only really talk to girls in Edmonton anymore. Which is odd. Chris is a film student in Montreal. I'm pretty sure he knew Shoel but I dont talk about it.
I need to get my new pair of glasses to outweigh my feminine haircut.
P.S. we were maybe trying to take a good picture here

Top 2 Things You Don't Want to Hear About Your Former Arch-Nemesis:
1. She's dating a 36 year old Green Beret
2. He has proclaimed she is "a great shot"

Holiday Goals:
I've lost my inspiration for writing and have now fallen well behind my goals. I'm hoping to make up for it soon. Only 5 treatments behind (ONLY!).

To that effect I pose a question dear readers...

Do i hold any interesting opinions? Like anything out of the ordinary? What am I passionate about? What idea makes you think "Oh yeah, Cam"?

I'm running out of things I care about.

Holiday Viewing:
I'm on a "catch up with the past decade or so of british comedy" kick this season so thusly here are some choices of Holiday Viewing (with links to the torrents for them)

The League of Gentlemen Christmas Special:
The league of gentlemen's show started off a weird Horror/Comedy mix but between the 2nd and 3rd series (represented here) they became quite strange and character focussed and started producing almost mini-movies. Here is a kind of holiday based Tales from the Crypt/Darkside/Vault of Horror thing with some actual well plotted out and whimsical horror shorts. It wont be AS enjoyable as if you knew the characters but it actually might be funnier with a whole lot of "wha?" moments.

Knowing me, Knowing Yule with Alan Partridge
Steve Coogan is a genius. So much so Courtney Love claimed he was the father of her love child once. So good. This isn't as good as the "I'm Alan Partridge" series , but still fantastic and christmas based. Oh yeah

Cam's Lame Modern Holiday Traditions:
While spending the holidays tooling around home i've realized a few traditions have popped up for me since I moved away, here they are

1. Don't call people for a week.
2. Watch love , actually about 1000 times.
3. Get depressed about my friend's exciting lives
4. Get mysterious illness

but seriously, the strangest i think, and has gone on for the past 3 years:
5. Catch up on "Nip/Tuck"
Anyone who thinks "The O.C." or "Boston Legal" or "South Park" is a guilty t.v. pleasure clearly hasn't experienced "Nip/Tuck".
Imagine TLC surgery grossout/freakshows mixed with "Passions"-calibre crazy ass soap opera plotlines mixed with raunchy F/X sex and you're about half way there.
Oh and it stars The guy from congo, a former australian prime minister's son, The lowest level Richardson sister (though Vanessa Redgrave does appear as her mother on the series (weird)) and special recurring roles by real-life superbitch Famke Jannsen, Joan Rivers (as herself) and Anne Heche. It's madness and it ends right before christmas so it's easily downloadable.
THis season alone involves gorillas, serial killers, anal rape, threesome relationships, transexual golden showers, the witness protection program and secretly making a skin creme out of semen.

I highly suggest you all adopt this tradition and sink to the depths of media viewership with me.

Hells yeah?

Have a Merry Holiday

I hope the way you celebrate is the way where you get presents

CAM

Holiday Nostalgia

Due to the fact i've decided this holiday to write one script treatment a day I've gone nuts searching through all the old crap in my room trying to find things to inspire me. Here are some things that didn't necessarily inspire me but made me laugh.

1) "Muse Magazine": There was this really hip, surprisingly professional magazine run out of mostly my grade 9 english class and I was the head of advertising which was ridiculous as i hate talking to people, especially in a professional setting. I just got a girl i know to talk and i handed sheets. Anyway, looking at it now it was ridiculous. Like grade 9 poetry in magazine form. People had subsrciptions to it too. Amazing. Look it up...because it doesnt exist anymore.

2) Deadline: By Cameron Maitland
I had a dream
that nothing was ever due
no homework, no projects
nothing.

I could live in peace
with no stress,
Have time to enjoy life
Time for friends, time for family
time for the fun.

The view was nice from there,
but I lived in a cardboard box.

(This was a poem in a collection from Grade 10 obviously mocking the assignment. I didnt do too well on it. The last poem in the collection was about last poems in poetry collections. I was a jerk even back then).

3) "If you ever need free/gratuituous sex with no emotional involvement, don't call me, get a hooker! WONDERFUL times. Andrea"
- Signature in my grade 10 yearboook.

I can't believe how it didnt occur to me how bad this was at the time. I think i thought she was joking whereas she clearly hated me. Thats like something someone says on a David E. Kelly show, not in grade 10.

4) Samantha Donnahue and John Barry Millington
I designed two ridiculous characters for a grade 11 costuming exercise. One is a secretary/women's libber from 1972 in Boise, Idaho. Apparently she enjoys "Listening to records". The other is an aspiring librettist from the mid-1800s. He enjoys "appreciating the arts". So not only was I a jerk. I was like a boring jerk. Shouldn't i have designed some sort of kung-fu robot?

5) Giant Kwanzaa Monster
I used to fancy myself an illustrator, and in an illustration class I started doing a series of drawings for a book about a Giant Green monster with a vaguely African looking hat who was kind of the Santa Claus of Kwanzaa. His shtick was hiding behind christmas decorations then popping out when it was over and celebrating his stuff. He was basically Clifford the big red dog with street cred. But he fought against a ogre made of candy canes so I can't hate on him too much.

Oh childhood. You are fantastic.

Holiday Leftover Photos: From Shoel's camera and Joel's Cookie Skillz




Chappy Channuka Boys!

Edmonton Holiday Musings: "I'm just a bad boy, dressed up in fancy clothes"

I joke often that in Edmonton I live in the ghetto, Then correct myself to say 'Ghetto Adjacent'.

I've found this trip more than ever, every time I open the paper there is a major article about someone I know. Twice this article has been FRONT PAGE! Damn. This is some impressive stuff folks. I'm not that connected in Vancouver either. I know the guys who know the guys from Trecherous Machete. I know someone who knows that Tom Welling is a real dick. Here i'm all...fancy...

score one for Adjacent.

While driving home through our neighborhood from the airport, mere blocks from our house, a shadowy figure jumped into the road and hit our car and screamed and my dad non-chalantly swerved around the person. "Ha ha, Oh, thats our new guy, Mr.Screaming" my mom laughs "He wanders around screaming all sorts of stuff and you can hear him for blocks."
Now, the fact that they've normalized a screaming derelect is enough but it gets better. Two days later at home i hear screaming and look out the window to see a well dressed young black man pacing around screaming fuck and pausing on the sidewalk every once and a while. I was shocked Mr.Screaming had such nice clothes and was so well groomed. When shovelling later with my Mom I commented on having finally gotten a good look at Mr.Screaming.
"Oh, that wasn't Mr.Screaming. Mr.Screaming is white and looks like a hobo. That was just some crazy yelling guy"

score one for Ghetto

CAM

Holiday Idea #1: Proposed Future American Eagle T-Shirt Designs

Womens:
Mens:

CAM

Holiday Tip:

Though it might seem a good scentence to hit on the girl you're switching seats on the plane with

"Oh, it's no problem, I'm fairly confident they could identify our corpses by our dental records"

Not only won't make her laugh, it will offend anyone in earshot on the plane.

CAM

Holiday Log: Day 5

She wrapped her legs around mine. Brushed her foot into the crook beneath my knees. She put her arm on my shoulder to turn herself around, reposition. Her toes dug deep into my calf from the combined forces of drowsiness and ecstacy. She then feined trying to cover her blatantly exposed vagina and returned to making out with her boyfriend. I turned Paul Anka up so loud on my Ipod god himself cried to Diana to stay with him. Then we got to Commercial and we could finally leave the bus.

Today was all birthdays. Useless vintage sale at Croatian cultural center.

Experienced my first "Twin birthday" with Kelsey and Chrissy. It was interesting. Numerous people got them two of the same present, which was lame. Chrissy commented that so many "Kelsey/Chrissy Christmas/Birthday" presents had soured her a bit on the whole affair. Waited 2 1/2 hours for a table at Las Margeritas then went to Mesa Luna for five seconds before heading to "Mike's" "Birthday" "Party". And all was well:



That woman in the background is the one who served him. Seems about right for the person frying up sugar cubes into your absinthe. She should dress more like a wench.

I don't understand this emergence of Holiday Related Lovin' and am thus totally left out. I save my holiday love for:
a) My Dogs
b) My lumpy, comfy bunk beds
c)Edmonton Library System's videos
d) whatever cooler my aunt gets "the kids" for christmas as I will be drunk off it for two or three days out of the whole thing

and thats all.

CAM

Holiday Log: Day 4 (Shopping Day 3, Rhianna's Birthday)

I'm done my shopping. Dvd for dad. Book for Mom. Crap for brother. Its all alright. But the real importance of the day came in Rhianna's birthday, my eventual ditching of it, and stu's party
Home-made means its from the heart. i choo choo chose Rhianna to have a happy birthday paris-hilton-darkness-train style. Hells yes.
I walked around all night looking like this. Though notably less double chinned as i wasnt always shot from below. But still, we thought it would be "beach" but it was more "coke-feind rapist". It at least got me free seats on the bus!
Pre-drinking took place at the Kate/Sharon manse. Very nice. Many people there regardless of affiliation. I personally fear The Plaza due to my lack of appropriate shoes and 10 dollars. Oh and once I was there and a girl claimed to be off the "party bus" and made out with me. But she was questionably young. None of that. Rhianna got revenge by locking me out, so it's all good.
See , we're buddies. She has Katie hair too. sav'd!
I like this picture cause
a) rhianna is pretending to be into hockey
b) Dan is mad i'm taking it
c) nobody notices Katie loved birthdays

Or do we?
My future roomie makes his girlfriend Jealous. Ooooh burn
Even more burn with hot hot Sharon (told you it would look good, geeze)
Alright. then to Stu's. Which took very long, if it makes you feel better. This is the best picture of our host. in wheelchair. We weren't allowed to play with it. Even Carina and shoel.
So many people. I mostly focussed on Carina's friend from Austria but I made a Faux pas about WWII (who knew you could still do that) and she stopped talking to me.
Mike Morelli was lookin' young. but note the lady. You may remember her from a little bet made on Deanna's birthday. Mr. morelli wins hands down. As does Shoel's seth-cohen roomate for brown baggin' it.
I wanted to Embarass Warren when he was talking to Stu's sister. didnt work out. Dang.
Since when do I love Love so much? but still. Damn cute.
This is my summer. Kellen , Marek and a lady. I dont know who, dont care who. Just some girl on his lap giving him a kiss. Sometimes we'd tie things to Marek's car. I dont want to have to explain that summer to my kids.
I left that Banana in your lift stu. thats what they call it in engaland. lift. I hope the smell is good tomorrow.
We kind of went crazy.
Ian and I took off a light fixture and Warren kind of bowled/smashed it after this in broad streetlight.
Ian kicked over many "news" boxes. So many. We destroyed Kitsilano a bit. I dont mind. I hope they didnt kick your brother out Ian.
Love again, what's my problem?
There was far too much waiting for the bus. Cam propses we live closer together. Especially considering I have to take two busses tomorrow too. Geeeeeeeeeee
Goodbye folks. Goodbye Mike. Goodbye Alligator Gloves.

CAM

Holiday Log: Day 3 (Shopping Day 2)

The blue represents where I walked around today trying to find a present for anyone. Zero represents the amount of presents I bought.

I told you, you son of a bitch, I'm the best there's ever been.

As a public service for people here with exams looking to kill time here are hilarious PSAs from the 80s I remember from mostly between CBS cartoons hand picked by me (and retrojunk):

1)*GASP* Not Barbra Mandrell !!
Remember how popular these guys got? All from PSAs...weird. I blame it on the fact the one has the voice of Garfeild.

2) C. Everette Coop is badass!
He's the only surgeon general who dressed like a general. Can you imagine him preforming surgery. So badass. He really makes me want to send a letter to AIDs

3) AAAAAAAAAAA
This one I remember most. So fucking scary. You cant really see it but the guy slowly turns into a snake, like his face changes whenever he goes behind a pole. Did kids really do so many drugs that they needed to scare them into not. Come on Nancy Reagan.

alright, then the 90s

4) Remember how much we used to care about the environment?
Was this actually a problem or just something some hippy thought would be a problem. Might cause blackouts? WHAT! What ever happened to us caring that much about the environment. All it ever taught me was to keep my balloonin' indoors.

and...i dont remeber this...but come on. Why didn't you wipe out Cancer 70s???? you suck. thats why.

CAM

Holiday Log: Day 2 (Day 1 of X-Mas Shopping)

I finally got an I-pod shuffle if you don't know, from Carina, and up until now it's just been a minor convenience but MAN it paid off today.

Holiday shopping is 100 times easier when you have an Ipod.

I'm good at shopping. Damn good. I know what I want and I get in there and get out awesomely. So the holidays are a problem as increased staffing equals more people talking to me and trying to get me to do/buy superfluous things. But with Ipod it's like you are given a free pass to ignore them.

In fact thats the great part of Ipod in general. Free pass to ignore with enough music to ignore for like half a day.

AND when you say hello to the cute shop girls they think it's even nicer and give you a nicer fake smile. I like fake smiles sometimes.

My shopping was confounded though, even If I'm amazing at it, by my family and their crazy needs when it comes to gifts.

My brother isn't "The man who has everything" but he's definitely, product-wise at least, "The man who has everything he wants right now". So for him I need to find something he WOULD want but doesn't know about because it hasn't existed in either Edmonton, Online or in London for the past ohhh , lets say, 3 months. I'm going to probably have to go to Richmond to the actual Japanese stores to fill this.

My Dad doesnt want anything. Really. He's fine with what he has. It's not like he has a secret passion for something. In his mind he has all he wants. He doesn't actually need anything that I could get him. So , in his case I have to FIND a need he has but hasn't realized he has and then fill it. This can usually only be solved by creative thinking and taking a chance on something odd.

My mother on the other hand will like anything...if it's FANTASTIC. Like any book, if it's a complete work of genius, accessible to all. Any C.D. if it is a musical experience which cannot be rivaled (especially Jazz, Folk and Instrumental). I've lucked out the past few times with reccomended books on New York Times lists , but this year all the books sound far too depressing and i'm not sure what she'd like. I've considered "House of Leaves" but i fear it may be too complex for what she wants as casual reading and also it costs too much for me. So yes, hopefully some masterwork will land in my lap.

Until then, I must keep shopping.

Head down, Ipod up

CAM

Holiday Log: Day 1

So yeah, i was bored, slept in and went a little crazy at a few things people know.

But what's important is I googled everyone I could think of from my highschool to see what they are up to. Here's the best

Rachel , who I almost went on a date with in grade 10, is in a Sorority at UBC. mere inches away. But i knew that.

Damon , who was a musical theatre phenom, plays enough chess that it's logged on a website.

Inga , who I hung out with in the hallway before school or sometimes at lunch, has a chance to be QUEEN OF SHAVES!

And, the biggest burn to someone who hasn't progressed professionally at all, Andrea, my highschool Lex Luthor, the girl who i had such an extreme love hate relationship with I wanted to die/have sex with her whenever i saw her, has a 15 THOUSAND dollar contract with the Canadian government to work in India for Foreign affairs for " Autres services professionnels non précisés ailleurs". Damn you french professional services!!!!

Thats all i know.

CAM

"Old Business": A Photo-Blog

Hello, hello. Sorry there's been radio silence lately , but you know, high level essays on 50 cent and Canadian Identity.

Regardless , I'd promised some photos and my inability to sleep without cold medication has afforded me a short period to put my money where my mouth is. Sorry if these seem dated:
'Twas 38 days before christmas and also Deanna's...lets say...17th birthday...yeah....
So of course an all-out christ-themed dance party ensued, blaring christmas tunes you've never heard of and all. Who knew Geri Halliwell was so serious about christmastime.
The "sweet moves" notably degraded as bottles were emptied and spirits forcibly mixed
And the decorations were hung by the chimney with care....*cough* Brittany is OCD *cough*
Naturally, myself Mike Harris (not pictured), Matt and other males were notably confused seeing as men tend to celebrate the holiday by getting drunk and pretending it's something less flamboyant like arbour day.
Our lack of spirit caused a fight with drunk girls (note: this is depressingly not posed)

Also, remember how I predicted that I'd be wearing that hoodie in every photo this year?
GOING STRONG!

I got my revenge on Deanna by photographing her preforming random fellatio in the pub.

Why she didn't think that'd come back to haunt her is beyond me.

More interesting than these moves is the fact that if one sheds any light on the Highland pub it looks dirter than a gas station bathroom.
Brad was there too. His moves are so fine it makes girls look momentarily latino
Awww ... all tuckered out. Happy Belated photography of your birthday Deanna

(p.s. there are millions more photos/video which will be whisked to you someday)

Also, being the social butterfly I am I was double-to-triple booked all weekend. It was also Sheri and Greg's birthdays respectively. I didnt take any photos on friday because i was too busy being shot down by 26 year old Med Students. But here's a precious moment
Also , it was this guy's birthday too. Last seen vomiting on some street corner and/or winning millions of dollars from those machines we mortals think are scams...bastard
Also, we celebrated the fact that we don't need to be on set again for almost a calendar year! And/or it was a normal day for Kellen. This photo could be either.
Gorrman and Meggers have pretty clean noses. Good grooming guys.
May I note that this is our future. 4th years. The man in the cowboy hat doing strippersize may or may not be the next Spielberg. remember that.
Then Kellen tried to jump off the roof. Someone fired fireworks at us. You know...normal stuff.

So there's my god-bound duty. After tomorrow i'm free from scholarly tyrrany but with little to no funds to celebrate.

There will be more blog though. You bet your ass

CAM