Pee Ess

At least I'm big on the internet.

Bon Projection
or
Debby Downer

So I decided I may as well just lay out the rest of the Montreal photos and recap little things about the trip because, well, it was four-five more days really and getting into the nitty gritty is too much.

First, all our places to stay fell through so I hobbled through the city going hotel to hotel to find an open room. After about 5 I found a place with a view like this:


But an okay room that looked like this:
The kicker though was the fact that this normal seeming hotel room had a ridiculous ceiling. It looked like this: So it ended up that all the lost souls of the day, because Sabreena slept through her train, amounted to Adina, Gorrman and I.

So we all slept in a double-ish bed and tried our best to will the bedbugs away from us. Oh also we got 10000 evil eyes from the other douches staying at the hotel who clearly wanted to beat us up including one wearing a shirt that just said "You'll do". Classy. Somehow this might have been the nicest place we stayed though.
Saturday we started actual festival stuff which included hanging out on closed off St.Catherine's street where there was a giant screen for movies. We spent most of our time in a lounge with free beer. Yes there was free beer. It was amazing. Terrible beer but I mean , come on. Also we got the chance to mingle. I think we only really talked to two people who didn't later turn out to be insane or terrible filmmakers but we felt pretty jetsetting for like the first day or so.

Oh also, after the Jon Voight thing the celebrities really dropped off. We missed Sophie Marceau. I did see Mia Maestro (she was a juror for the festival) walking down the street with no shoes on. She was like 4 foot 2. Alias' sister my ass.
Here's Chris and Adina with free beers on the free beer balcony in front of one of the big theaters which showed all the Quebecois movies. This was probably moments before someone accosted us with their cards and tried to hit on Adina.
Some semi-douchey writer from Vancouver convinced Chris and Gorrman they could get deals like anywhere with their passes so they wore them all the time. I was embarrassed by this. Then I stopped caring and wore mine all the time. I got no extra respect and was even hassled for free things I deserved...goddamn festival.
We partied at some bar that was seemingly just a giant patio that went on for like 3 blocks. It was really the only time I paid for drinking. Never having a place to stay/being unable to walk properly really deflated the fun out of drinking. Thus I was a total douche to everyone. Also, I complained constantly about every situation. I'd like to think i was saying what everyone was thinking...but for the first few days I even annoyed myself. We replaced drinking/tourism/normal fun with going to constant free movies (I saw 20 movies/short programs in 4 days) and I ended up bitching less and enjoying myself.

I wonder if this was a product of all my plans falling apart and fucking me over or if this is just what planning an adult, actual trip is like. Constant stress. Not a vacation at all. Hmmm. Am I destined to only enjoy shitty spa vacations where everything is planned? will you buy me one so I can find out?
There was free internet at another lounge. I guess I thought it was noteworthy. Maybe for the movie posters.
Our movie showed at the cool home of the National Film Board in Montreal. What a good name.
The theater was very small, like 100 seats maybe, but the sound was balls out amazing. Like the quality of a professional mixing studio. Also the theater was sold out/standing room most shows so it made you feel fancy. My movie went over really well, all of ours did, but I don't think we won any awards since nobody has texted me or anything. Or maybe I'm headed to Cannes and just don't know yet. Yeah, it's probably that.

We took a party photo. I dont know why. To mock something. Chris bought a touristy shirt with swears on it and wore it every day.
Remember the giant screen? faintly in the left you can see Das Boot playing on it. We also watched a large portion of Midnight Cowboy. Just playing on the damn street. It was pretty funny. Das Boot i think is rated R and Midnight Cowboy is X and yet there were tons of kids watching. Montreal you are ridiculous.
We also went to this horror fest thing every night. Just another movie basically but a terrible world-horror offering. It was in this amazing old theater though AND it had been properly converted with cup-holders. Goddamn! as you can see I've really run out of interesting photos because I was in like 5 movies a day.

but there was the murder hotel!
Gorrman and Sabreena chose to stay near the university in a weird hotel with like 3 rooms that's a converted apartment. I decided because I was a) afraid, b) it was too far for my damn leg and c) it had cats so my face swelled up to return to my original hostel instead but I spent one night there and tried to record it as best as possible. I took the photo above to give you an idea of what it was lit like at the time because that's 1000 times creepier than my flash makes it out to be.
This photo was in our room. it was like the last supper but in a crystal pyramid. and jesus was blonde with like short hair. and there's a see-thru nipple man above them. Apparently Sabreena at one point just took it down because it was weird.

Also this room didn't have a door but did have a mirror with a padlock on it which, if pushed revealed the room. amazing. Inside all that locked it was a little latch that could easily be opened from outside.
The "owner/manager" of the place slept in the next room, on the couch. There is one of the like 8 cats that lives there/goes in every room/makes me die.
It's funny because all these photos look homey and nice but imagine this place is up 100 sketchy stairs, in the dark, smelled the cheapest gas station air-fresheners and was run by a grizzled looking 50 year old man.
There were old lady knick-nacks and lots of photos of an old lady so it was hard to ignore the fact that this was pretty clearly like the guy's mom's place...and she died...probably in our bed...and he turned it into a "hotel"...

where have I heard this before...
Oh Adina didn't have a place to sleep so she slept in the space between our bed and the wall on top of my shoes. Her trip was probably 1000 times worse than mine but she complained less. I hope when I grow up I can be like her.
Here's the final photo with the final free beers. By this point they had separated us into "real filmmaker" and "students/terrible filmmaker" rooms so the beer kind of was pissing us off. I think you can see it in Gorrman's eyes.

so yes. trip is done. I'm going to do two more blogs on it. One reviewing all the movies I saw in one line. One trying to express what I learned from a business perspective.

These blogs probably wont get written.

Je M'appelle Quasimodo

So I'm gimped. gimped bad. I'm lying in bed because I somehow yesterday fucked up my Achilles tendon so it's now basically a rod of iron instead of a nice elastic. I'm putting icy hot lotion on it and it seems to be getting better but seriously. I had a day of walking the only way that was not painful : With one leg turned completely sideways thrusting in front of me or dragging behind me like so many Lon Chaney monsters. Don't even get me started about the time I had to run across the crosswalk. It took all day to shake the villagers with pitchforks off of me.


Nonetheless I got out and about, got my festival stuff and took some pictures so enjoy!The food here is terrible if you want anything but smoked meat and poutine. Especially the ethnic cuisine. It's like they told someone how to make a burrito and they were like "mais non! we are french we made cuisine we understand" and then they put it in a fucking panini press and instead of beef use like chicken stew. Seriously. Everytime I eat I want to barf afterwards.
This sign is outside my crazy hostel. click for bigger and laugh at how long it took Micheal to decompose. just me?

Re: Crazy hostel. I'm done here tomorrow and thank god because the beds are ridiculous (maybe cause of tendon problems) and they've started just renting out space in the place. There is a dude living in the common area. Classy. Anyway I have random couch surfing tomorrow and then we go to corporate hostels for the rest. I made some good incognito videos of how weird the hostel is (especially it's underground catacombs) on the advice on my only friend Aiden and I'll put them up later. Its internet is too slow to bother with uploading.
My big trek was to Old montreal. It was exactly the same as I remember from 6 years ago. Same graffiti even (that's impressive). It was far too touristy and started raining so I hot footed it elsewhere.
This was the worst statue I've seen in a long time. Unless this man...i forget who...had massive hands, wore a David Byrne suit, had a tiny head and generally looked like Tick Tock from 'Return to Oz" he should be rolling in his grave. You can't get away with a shitty statue in a city of statues...gosh..
I went to a press conference thru the festival celebrating Jon Voight. France :: Jerry Lews as Quebec :: Voightster. Seriously there were tons of people getting his autograph. I thought the world had written him off as a batshit insane old man. He certainly looked like a batshit insane old man. I was afraid of him and only got this close.
It was both a) pouring rain and b) HOT FOG all day. I can't stress that enough. Hot fog. Like walls of hot moisture you can see and feel. It just about killed me. I thought I'd get home easily too but the Metro was fucked up. I blame the hot fog. Scariest fog since antonio bay , yo.
But I'm doing okay. I survived two days alone, soon there will be people to share the burden of this ridiculous place. I made one kind of newish friend in the young african dude that manages the hostel...mostly because I stayed in so much and he did too. I don't know his name though. There were New Hampshire girls who I had breakfast with but they were snooty. And a guy from Seattle who doesn't like me and who controls the t.v....we watched french simpsons though so that was cool.

This might be the last internet I have for a while so keep the peace. I'll continue to try my best not to die.

Cam

Day One : Before and There
(I'll try to update often but I only have two days of guaranteed internet)

Thursday August 23^rd

7:07 am

Things that are exactly the same at 9pm and 5:30am in Vancouver

- The sky

- Faint smell of human feces

- Starbucks is open

- You get asked for spare change

- Bus drivers act like dicks

So yes, currently still in Vancouver…such a good reason to blog, no?

This trip has me stressed out of my mind. There are too many unsure variables in where I’m staying, what I’m doing and who’s accrediting me for doing it for me to get too excited. Not to mention the fact that I haven’t been on a proper vacation for like 7 years. That makes it all a bit scary.

I’m already enjoying the store-bought breakfasts though. Breakfast is the first thing you demand not to be bought when you are going about daily life so, bought breakfast always makes me feel like I’m in Versailles or something.

Oh, as a closing note, if you want to declare Jihad on anything do it at 6:30 in the morning. I’ve never passed so quickly through security in my life.

View from Vancouver airport at 7am. Calgary airport tries its hardest to be shrill and annoying (These turn around and make a sound)

I stopped taking photos because a) it's creepy night in Montreal b) it is raining c) I don't like taking photos of architecture d) I don't know how to throw my arm around a statue and take a myspace photo with it.

My hostel is nice. Big. it is very odd. I've taken a few pictures which will be up as soon as possible. It could literally be the set for the movie "hostel" but the rooms are nice and it is secure and near everything.

How's the mingling going you say? Well people don't mingle much here but I made a friend of an Irishman named Aiden mostly based on our surprise at how unhostelly it is and how odd the building is (He is in a completely other wing separated by a fence from me). It went swimmingly. We tried to make friends with others and failed. Also it got awkward when he just assumed I was gay (our hostel is in the middle of the village and I do seem really gay) and I was too polite to correct him. I just had a stutter moment and then silence and we moved on. Watched some Grey's Anatomy.

So...yeah...I assume getting back on the old mingling horse will make things better.

Also, nobody speaks english...I think I'm in the wrong part of town. I ordered Mcdonalds like a damn frenchman though and nobody noticed! Ha! Trio Big Ouest avec Coke indeed.

Tomorrow brings my first full day alone in the city. I'm going to walk a lot. Maybe eat poutine.

later

Cam

Well it is almost semi-official...after living in every ghetto we could muster in the Greater Vancouver Area we are moving to Kitsilano
I don't know how I feel. Clearly, it is an exciting prospect to live in a beautiful nice neighborhood with cool amenities where all the rich yogafied snobs live. Still I always get a bit queasy when there's a punch to my internal compass.

I'll miss my cheap produce and frozen gyozas and the two liquor stores within five minutes of the house. I'll miss easy access to either the train or the bus and not knowing what's going on at the halfway house. I'll miss having a secret RCMP file on or house.

But honestly, how rich will it be to continue to live my life as a man-child but be able to say "Oh, I live in kits". Zing. Secret Millionaire? Definitely it adds some nice zest to the first semester outside of school. All my pretentious books will look lovely in the extra orange sun they order specially in kitsilano.

Plus, I can finally have my dream job:Oh well, if all else fails I can be the first to organize the kits hobos and stand atop our barricades triumphantly waving our flag.

It will be created out of bits of other flag refuse. Hobo flag.

Cam

I speak in other peoples pictures because I'm too lazy to write things

"Vacations"

God I'm stressed out lately and, I'm on fucking vacations. All I've got is free time so why am I stressed?

I guess it's looking for a new place to live and planning a trip are getting to me. Figuring out two places to stay...one non-existent...one, thanks to hilarious twists of events, a hostel...

Allow me to indulge into some SOC 101:

I am on the goddamn BOTTOM of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Spending my vacations in the same place as homeless people and cavemen.

How the hell am I supposed to self-actualize without a place to stay? And even in Montreal it's a fucking hostel! I don't need Eli Roth and scythe wielding lesbians to make me afraid of hostels. Bedbugs, bongos and not showering do enough thanks.

So, yes, this has impeded into my happily reading a book in the sun/daily blogging. But soon it will return.

In other news, I'm de-nesting to prepare for the move. Is anyone interested in 10000 christmas decorations, Halloween costumes or various other thingies? I've got a lot to give. If you want to come shopping at our house for free crap just call me.

Cam

That sound you hear

Is me squealing with excitement that I found not one, but two of the weird, rare not famous books by famous authors I was looking for. Being able to read whatever I want is the A1 thing I'm most excited for now I'm not in school.

Granted, The Confidence Man is basically a continuation of the class I just did...as is the Sterne...

But the Kundera, man, that's solely to be pretentious and impress people when I go on my trip. It's smart AND has a topless girl on the cover.

Shazam.

Cam

p.s. about the blurry photos...what? you think I went to film school or something?

It's Over

So I'm officially done school for the foreseeable future...

I'm not antsy or freaked out yet. I was way too stressed with these intense summer classes so any break is very much welcomed. After a little over five years of school I think it'll be a couple months before I start crying uncontrollably.
Towards the end of school I got some perspective on the whole thing. The fact is I enjoy going to school and I'm good at it.

Strangely, there aren't many other things in your life that you enjoy and are good at that you are eventually forced to stop doing. I guess I'm not forced, I could keep going to school for another handful of years, then do like a PhD for a few more years...but that isn't very appealing. I'd like to think at this point I've reached some level in my training where I can appply it somewhere else.

That said, here I am out in the world with one thing less that I enjoy and am skilled at. That leaves me with very few things in those categories. I need to find a new enjoyable skill asap.

Also, at a concert last night I tried my best to mingle a lot. Now I don't have school to force social interactions I've got to learn to mingle properly. I did pretty well but I couldn't, for the life of me hear any names properly and/or remember them. I also can't tell the difference between someone genuinely liking me and someone subtly mocking me through sarcastic conversation.

Maybe a PhD doesn't sound so bad after all

Cam

But Mr.Tilney...We musn't...(I assume that was somewhere in the book)

So I finished my undergrad "cutting people off with my less important thoughts" career with a thud by discussing the dissection of the Romantic in Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey. A class I enjoyed but didn't have time to care about and a book I'd enjoyed...but paid more attention to the movie.

But that's okay...I'm a film student, right?

So how does one celebrate such a momentous occasion?

CHEAP DOUBLE FEATURE AT 5th AVENUE!!!!

So yes, prepare for a double dose of movie reviews because I'm tired of writing useful, thought provoking things.


Paris Je T'aime:
This was the second movie but also the one I assume everyone has seen so I thought I'd review it first since it'll just be a fast ejaculation of my opinions...as so many of my conversations are.

It's the 25th best rated movie of the year on Rotten Tomatoes...not sure how I feel about that.

I don't like anthology films because they are so uneven and this may be the unevenest of all time. It manically teetered from watch looking to being totally in love with it but sadly not weighted well so it kind of bibbed and bobbed and jumped all around. But, yeah...expected.

That said there were awesome parts. It was delightful to see the Coen bros short (pictured above) simply because I don't think I've ever seen them do a short before. A lot of people thankfully focussed on shitty or messed up stories so you weren't choking of a beehive's worth of saccharine narratives. The audience burst into giggles in the Gus Van Sant movie when the gay hearthrob walked in but it still managed to amuse. Tom Tykwer just kind of did Run Lola Run 2 and the vampire one was way out of place but both were at least interesting in a movie that tended to focus generally more on performance rather than director's style. Nobody necessarily disappointed. Christopher Doyle is a cinematographer, not a writer so of course his was basically pretty nonsense. I suppose I kind of was choked Gurinder Chadra's lacked her usual smirk when dealing with race relations but I think being a non-white person looking at France probably leaves little room for smirking.

My favorite was Alexander Payne's. He managed his usual "make you laugh at someone then make you understand and emote with them" in a ridiculously short amount of time and definitely showed the "mad skillz" as a short practitioner more than the others.

But still, cute, whatever. It'll be good on DVD.

2 Days in Paris:

It's sad when a double bill loads the awesome movie first because it really pants' the other's chance of you loving it. Paris Je T'aime was good, but Julie Delpy's 2 Days In Paris was great. Also, sort of conflicting subject matter which made the placement of Je T'aime into kind of a joke.

Delpy's movie has a pretty simple plot. French Girl (basically Julie Delpy) loves Adam Goldberg (I can't even remember the characters name it's so Goldberg), they go on euro-trip, they spend two days in paris staying with her mom and dad, this puts stress on the relationship.

The movie gets the majority of it's laughs from Delpy's clear love-hate relationship with Paris. It's pretty but the cab drivers are asses who talk too much. There is family there but there are thousands of exes you don't want to see. Actually, it's mostly hate...I ran out of balancing things. This is where it diverges from Je T'aime. The yucks are as often at the expense of Paris and France as they are of Jewish or Americanisms...if not more.

The romance stuff flounders a little but overall it's just a simple comedy about being insiders/outsiders that's tightly written and well played.

You need to go just to see Julie Delpy's father play--I pray to baby Jesus--himself. He might have beaten out Depardieu for "Frenchest seeming man of all time".

It's an awesome movie. go see.

Now only two papers on Friday and I'm free....to stare into the abyss that is a life wasted on academia??? we'll see

Cam

How do people have cool business cards?
Granted, mine is shitty because I wasn't trying and...well...don't need a business card BUT seriously. The coolest is like just those ones with a name and a number. Or no number.

Putting any information on a business card is both practical and makes you look like an idiot.

In other news...

Have you seen New York's He-Man yet?

He's the new Chocolate Rain.

Cam