Due to lack of computer, and thus lack of I-tunes catalogue I've had to re-evaluate my musical tastes based on my small c.d. collection. Here are my notes thus far:

- "Tramp the Dirt Down" by Elvis Costello is the best political song of all time. If someone wrote a song now about dancing on any political figure's grave we'd all be deathbombed.
- Rings Around the World by the Super Furry Animals may be my favorite c.d. ever simply for containing a) a deathmetal/folk song b) a techno song mixing the sounds of a woman climaxing c) a love song-ish sounding song about President Clinton including the line "did we need to know if he came in her mouth?"
- Welsh people are crazy. (see above)
- The song I miss most of all is "Straight Outta Compton" both NWA and Girly folk singer versions
- Curtis Mayfield songs are like climbing a mount everest of funk.
- I think you can hear the choreography in recordings of the temptations. shufflin' and all in the background.
- It's sad Jeff Buckley is dead.

thats all.

CAM

Things I learned without pants , While drunk....right now:
a) Never try bad sex with a girl, it'll haunt you
b) Don't ever try to make up bad sex with bad makeouts. It's worse
c) Be prepared if all else fails to be a running joke with her friends.
c.2) Anecdotes are very much worth ruining other peoples lives
d) always hire warren for photos (166 , coming soon!)
e) Never be attracted to a girl when you are only wearing underwear unless you are alone , in a room , where an erection is not a bad idea.
f) Sure, it's good to get a girl drunk to move things along, but you don't have to make her puke
g) Hanging out with people you dont like/know is sometimes fun.
h) never pass up the chance to be set up on a date. no matter how crazy.
I) you never know

ending on I makes it ...uhhh... self reflexive?

CAM

P.S.

An Ode To Mario Golf: The Haiku

Turtle putts. No voice
His jabs under sarcasm
Waligi. Wah ah.

thats all for you. How's that for informed sass?

Things I learned while being drunk, not wearing pants (Right NOW!):
a) Don't try bad sex after two forties with a girl, it will bite you in the ass
b) If you should try bad sex , definitely dont try to fall back on bad makeouts
c) If that even fails, be prepared to be some sort of running gag with her friends.
d) Dont play drinking games
e) Dont be attracted to anyone, anywhere while pantsless unless you are prepared for them to see an erection
d) If that works out for you , remember, though a girl getting drunk always helps things move along, dont make her puke.
e) No , really.
f) Always employ Warren to take photos (166!)
g) pants are a blessing and a curse.
H)

Things I did at Pub Night, for better or for worse, in various states of inhebriation:

- Introduced most of my friends to Kellen
- Somehow said i'd be a part of 3 pitchers but was a part of none (except drinking)
- Bonded with Hollis
- Had caveman-esque messages to and from Amy behind coatcheck
- Tried to set up Kellen with Brianna resulting in drunk Brianna rage
- Had a football huddle with Andy, Sharon and Sean for no apparent reason
- Planned the pentultimate birthday party for Oct.15, celebrating mine, Dock's and Angela's birthday in one crazy venue.
- Called Cam out for burning me in that rez video
- Found out Svetlana's little brother lives on Briannas floor and subsequently talked about it all night.
-Apologized to Jenna for not actually having sex with her
- Tried multiple conversations with Benoit but was constantly stimeyed.
- cant spell that
- Finally re-talked to Lila from 1st year.
- Got kicked out. Hit on Norwegian girl for a very long time
- Went to peak. tried to write a comic and failed.
- was recorded at least twice talking about how i was going to "smack the bitch" on an unnamed female
- Rode down the hill in the back of a pickup
-got free mcdonalds.

that is all

thanks amanda for not letting me die

CAM

My Toshiba computer has committed suicide so I thought I should inform you of the important goings on in my life, and thoughts as well as continue to not update my sidebar because I'm lazy. Or maybe i'm still listening to that same record, huh?

anyway:
- A girl tracked me down via the internet to ask me on a date. I , of couse, havent phoned her due to embarassement.
- Its easy to mock analog pornography until your computer goes down.
- I went to Victoria to a film festival we were in. Film festivals are stupid to reward only the director because directors don't do a lot. Or maybe I'm just a bad director who doesn't do a lot. probably the latter.
- I finally was "The Hoon" again thanks going to a game of texas hold'em with two people I met three years ago.
- I am almost as bad at Mario Golf as I am at poker. But at least I know the rules.
- Cannibal: The Musical, as put on by my mom's co-worker's daughter/my school chum and Mark Little's ex-roomate was funny and while critically panned, a constant money earner. We should all go into fringe theater.
- Adults dancing to maribma music is like watching the holocaust
- Kids today don't drink enough, complain about smoking too much and only want to hit on 28 year olds who ride on motorcycles. Consequently I can't go parties without feeling like Paul Lynde.
- Look that one above me up. Only the most female and homosexual will figure out that reference
- I also can't go to parties without making fun of guys who look like Joss Wheadon fuck up magic tricks. And i can't make fun of them without being so loud they hear. Even when completely sober.
- WHY AM I SO LOUD?
- That night I had a dream where Orla and I went to a convenience store run by Joss Wheadon and bought a frozen lasagna. My dreams are boring.
- I know what a cooper does.
- Joel and Amy are having a "Don't you hate Pant's" party this weekend. Ask for more info.

Thats all for now. I should really be focussing my time on trying to fix my computer.

CAM

Aborted Photographic Opportunities
by
Cam

I carried my Camera around a few days in the past few weeks and missed most opportunites for worthwhile photography so instead i took what follows


The PNE was unphotogenic what with all the fat people and their cute, but also fat children. Mostly sweating. My prize photo was supposed to be a licivious picture of a shiatsu massager on a desk chair which had a sign that said "adults only" on it, but i was afraid to take it well so it was too out of focus. Regardless the only willing subjects were available were in the agricultural dome.

I was excited to see common farm animals in the fair. But they are all too stuck up. Real farm animals wouldnt use a fan. Fucking sellouts.
And talk about losing cred. These goats are far too organized for my liking.
Don't even get me started on what a letdown this exhibit was. Dock wasn't even there.
I went to an Indie show put on by the Peak so I took an Indie picture all dutched out on Mike's suggestion. Is it just me or does Warren kind of look like a ventriloquist dummy when he's red-faced drunk and shotgunning a beer?
I think my foreboding use of lighting in this picture captured the harrowing events of that night. Let me say september whatever it was will be a day to be remembered.
Like all semi-mythical trickster types this bastard got harder to photograph the more mischeif he made. I hear if you can actually catch him he'll give you a smoke. here i think he was trying to play harmonica and that required glasses.
Here is the beer, aslan trying to avert the inevitable and another girl getting undoubtedly a better photo. Ohh kodak. you win this round.
Yesterday was a pimp and ho party. International people dont know what that means (because sometimes they already dress like that). This guy was dutch and wrapped in a union jack with a firehelmet and he kept saying "I'm FUCKING britain".

God save the queen indeed.
This guy's name was Sven. 'nuff said.
This was supposed to be a picture of matt sticking candles down his pants but instead you can just see his big useless penis.

If i ever start being a better photographer you'll all be sorry.

CAM

The only thing worse than classes that go till 9:30 is classes that go till 9:30 in which you have to act as the victims of Hurricane Katrina next week.

Shoel will be Kanye West. I am Sean Penn

CAM

Actual Conversation with Jeff Derksen:

"ahhh so you are a rocker now I see"

"So the shirt says"

long pause

"I suppose a rocker is a good thing to be nowadays"

"Keeps me hip with the kids I suppose"

very long pause with us just squinting and nodding

the end