I'm not who you think I am
I'm the king of Siam

I remember in grade 8 we had to give a presentation in french class discussing the celebrity our partner most resembled. My partner, Meredith Murray, the unrequited love of my grade 8 life (we'd recently bonded over a mutual friend's amusing eating disorder (see "Mean Girls")) I think I said looked like...gwen stefani or someone "grade 8 in 1998" attractive. She settled on Bonapart.

Not Napoleon mind you...that talking skeleton from Owl TV.

Since then I've been plagued trying to figure out what celebrity I look like if only to save face with women i'm trying to impress (#1 motivation for everything)
This chart basically means crap (unless it says mayana looks like Patrick Stewart then it's correct).

In the past year or so I increasingly get Jon Heder:

I think we have similar hair. I also think i have the bucked teeth, deep voice and cadence of Napoleon Dynamite.

I have been called Napoleon affectionately at two separate places of work. The first it caught on with a new boss after 3 months. The 2nd was on the first day.

Add to that a makeup girl (i.e. professional good looking picker outer) said I looked like Diedrich Bader:Wow.

She saved face by saying I just sounded and acted like Diedrich Bader. She probably saw him in Drew Carey.

He is the stupid friend on that.

Thus I've decided the only way for me to resolve this situation is to get so famous enough my face is on that stupid "what celebrity do you look like" wheel and then everyone will shut up. Tom Cruise looks like fucking Tom Cruise you assholes.

*****

How's my movie?

I've been getting more and more props. Slowly but surely. If you keep up with Alex's blog you'll have seen his amazing elevator. The design of my movie is very much the opposite. While he had to put lots of time, money and a lot of effort into building one great thing, I have to put little time , money and a lot of effort in to finding a million perfect things to dress already existing spaces. But it's been fun. This week I look for vibrators.

sidenote: this week on set I spent a few hours trying to make some sheets look semen stained. then i spent a few more hours taking said semen stain out of the sheets. Your tuition is paying for me to do this. Thank you.

I've cast the main roles except the parents and grandmother. My female lead looks like the more feminine little sister of George's girlfriend on 'Grey's Anatomy'. I'd say my male lead is a very jewish Jeremy Sisto. The sister did one of the voices on the 'Trollz' cartoon. The brother is probably Matt Graham.

I've made a breakthrough in the script that may mean it actually says something I want to say about life.

I'm looking for good family-ish living rooms and girl's bedrooms and hallways to shoot in.

I am slowly going crazy and can't wait for it to be done so I can bask in pure poverty.

and my birthday is somewhere in there.

CAM

p.s. did you notice there was a lot of both Napoleon and Bonapart in there. I decided to back off on some sweet pun title. you'll thank me later.