A Truth For Everyone In My Cellphone Phonebook
- I'm sad we've grown apart but it's your fault
- My success depends on you
- I'm nervous around you because I think you're attracted to me
- I don't trust anyone you date
- You were right to stop being friends with me
- I know you think little of me
- I think I grew out of you
- I only wanted you because I couldn't have you
- Your coke addiction is wasting your talents
- I thought you'd be cheaper than regular cab companies but you aren't
- I regret not having sex with you in highschool when I had the chance
- You should charge people more to live in your basement suite
- Your family makes me not want to spend time with you
- I made friends with you because I had a crush on your sister
- I miss you but we're both too cool to admit it
- Sometimes I'm just friends with you because your missteps make me feel better about my choices
- I don't know why you put up with me
- You are an alcoholic and there's nothing I can do about it
- You don't need me anymore
- I dont trust you
- I don't really like you or understand why everyone else does
- Sometimes I'm embarassed by how you choose to live your life
- I'm never going to call you
- You were totally right to set me up with her but I can't admit that or I'll look foolish
- You aren't just like your mom
- I'll never fully forgive you for some of the things you've done
- I wish I didn't have to go through the motions of still being your friend
- I still don't remember making out with you
- You are a spoiled idiot
- I can't date you because I'm shallow not because I'm heartbroken
- It makes me feel stupid how much more mature you are than me. But it makes you LOOK stupid so I feel okay about it.
- The reason we aren't better friends is you can't get over thinking you are cooler than me
- I've heard bad things about you but I give you the benefit of the doubt
- You smell like B.O. most of the time
- We have nothing in common
- I constantly worry you will turn out to be not as good a person as you seem to be
- Every problem you have is caused by yourselves holding you back
- I'm friends with you because I'm in love with you and hope that'll help get me 'in'
- All your other friends scare me
- I know you think I'm racist but I hope I turn out like you when I grow up
- We were all only attracted to your giant breasts
- I'd be a better friend to you if you didn't make me engage in physical activities
- I always used to think you were hitting on me when you were just being nice
- You are my best friend even though I'm not even close to your best friend
- I know You'll never follow through on all our plans
- I'm sorry I used you
- Your personality drives me insane
- You also tend to smell like B.O.
- I think we'd make a good married couple except we arent attracted to eachother
- I'm afraid If i spend more time with you I wont like you as much
- I keep two separate entries so I can know where you are when you call
- You are not the life of the party but the death
- I can't understand most of what you say
- Your sex talk makes me uncomfortable
- It's hard to be named Warren or Yuka because you never get told the truth
- I'm sad we've grown apart but it's your fault
- My success depends on you
- I'm nervous around you because I think you're attracted to me
- I don't trust anyone you date
- You were right to stop being friends with me
- I know you think little of me
- I think I grew out of you
- I only wanted you because I couldn't have you
- Your coke addiction is wasting your talents
- I thought you'd be cheaper than regular cab companies but you aren't
- I regret not having sex with you in highschool when I had the chance
- You should charge people more to live in your basement suite
- Your family makes me not want to spend time with you
- I made friends with you because I had a crush on your sister
- I miss you but we're both too cool to admit it
- Sometimes I'm just friends with you because your missteps make me feel better about my choices
- I don't know why you put up with me
- You are an alcoholic and there's nothing I can do about it
- You don't need me anymore
- I dont trust you
- I don't really like you or understand why everyone else does
- Sometimes I'm embarassed by how you choose to live your life
- I'm never going to call you
- You were totally right to set me up with her but I can't admit that or I'll look foolish
- You aren't just like your mom
- I'll never fully forgive you for some of the things you've done
- I wish I didn't have to go through the motions of still being your friend
- I still don't remember making out with you
- You are a spoiled idiot
- I can't date you because I'm shallow not because I'm heartbroken
- It makes me feel stupid how much more mature you are than me. But it makes you LOOK stupid so I feel okay about it.
- The reason we aren't better friends is you can't get over thinking you are cooler than me
- I've heard bad things about you but I give you the benefit of the doubt
- You smell like B.O. most of the time
- We have nothing in common
- I constantly worry you will turn out to be not as good a person as you seem to be
- Every problem you have is caused by yourselves holding you back
- I'm friends with you because I'm in love with you and hope that'll help get me 'in'
- All your other friends scare me
- I know you think I'm racist but I hope I turn out like you when I grow up
- We were all only attracted to your giant breasts
- I'd be a better friend to you if you didn't make me engage in physical activities
- I always used to think you were hitting on me when you were just being nice
- You are my best friend even though I'm not even close to your best friend
- I know You'll never follow through on all our plans
- I'm sorry I used you
- Your personality drives me insane
- You also tend to smell like B.O.
- I think we'd make a good married couple except we arent attracted to eachother
- I'm afraid If i spend more time with you I wont like you as much
- I keep two separate entries so I can know where you are when you call
- You are not the life of the party but the death
- I can't understand most of what you say
- Your sex talk makes me uncomfortable
- It's hard to be named Warren or Yuka because you never get told the truth
posted by Cam at 10:31 PM
9 Comments:
alphabetical order still? i'm just trying to figure out what i fit into...
i'm hoping it's the 'i still don't remember making out with you one.'
Okay since i've already been harassed a lot about this
a) no its not in perfectly alphabetical order
b) it includes edmonton, vancouver and other people and i left people off if i couldnt think of things
c) no i will not tell you which one you are
it's pretty much true: people are only attracted to my giant breasts.
I don't think I'm in Cam's phone book . . .
but if I was I'm quite sure I'd be
" I think we'd make a good married couple except we arent attracted to eachother"
"You also tend to smell like B.O."
Don't worry Cam, I will buy some Irish spring soap and use it in the shower when we live in the same apartment.
Sorry, SOMEBODY told me I had a nice natural man musk.
This really is the best blog entry I've seen in some time. I am thinking, am I near the top due to the D, or the middle-end due to the P? Either way...intrigue. But if I had to guess...not sure, there isn't one about putting chedder cheese on everything or awkward chairs, or small tvs, or small breasts. This is hard.
I'm really glad you could be up front with me about my coke addiction. I've really been debating on whether or not it was actually a waste of my talents or not.
I think I know which one is me, but I won't guess for fear of looking like an idiot.
Also, Yuka's breasts = rad. Their attractiveness is pretty much a given.
This is terrific. You've nailed the confessions blog style, but mixed it with murder mystery whodunnits and honesty (Ba-wha?!) to boot. My phonebook is far too small to get away with such secrecy.
Dude, which one am I? I'm serious. You have to tell me.
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