Walking down the street today with a friend, I finally found the core difference between Edmonton and Vancouver. It can be summed up in one word:
Breasts.
I used to think the fact that every girl in Jr.High-1st year I dated or was madly in love with was at least a healthy c-cup was due to the fact that I was an adolescent perv, but really, just walking down the street I was amazed to see girls in Edmonton have huge cans. HUGE.
I dont know if it's the higher altitude, the down home cornfedness of it all or what, but it is mindboggling.
This too could account for the increased amount of sluts, skanks and ho's I run into in Edmonton as I find large breasted girls seem to predominantly fall into two categories
1) Girls who are obsessed with their jugs: They can be sly or they can be all out there but some girls with large breasts define themselves with them. This tends to mean showing a lot of cleavage or always wearing tight sweaters but definitely spending the majority of their life motivated and defined by sex, as seen by their defining characteristic: Their larger than average breasts. these are the sluts of our world. The "Big Titted Whores" if you will. Now , some are successful and don't become to trashy and are just kind of well honed nyphos who get what they want and have fun doing it thanks to their breasts (these incidently are the girls who make flatchested girls want boobjobs), some are destined to be the gross stripper at the start of the set but regardless these are the girls who first titfucked guys in Jr.High. These are the girls that populate Edmonton apparently.
The other kind? Oh.
2) Girls who are embarassed by their jugs: These girls probably developed first and crazily and/or weren't totally self-centered when they developed and/or were goths and/or when they developed huge breasts their dad's friends started hitting on them. Regardless these girls hate their breasts, probably wore sweatshirts a lot in grades 6-10. BUT all is not lost. These girls tend to develop hilarious personalities of self-deprecation, ballbusting hilarity or all out twisted anger to deal with the people who treat them like girl 1 and/or are obsessed with their breasts. These girls are the perfect teammate, roomate and confidante. You want them to get drunk and sleep with you or leave their fiancee for you. They are so together it hurts because they had to try so hard to define themselves against a stereotype they found themselves like a 100 million years before you did and without that stupid fucking trip to europe. These are the women Russ Meyer originally set out to portray before he got too obsessed with the first kind. Oh, and if you try to titfuck these girls they'll cut you good, and you deserve it pervo.
Man, I think my problem is I'm just not exposed to enough large breasts anymore. My knowledge is apparently really centered around them.
I'd better call up some Jr.High exes while I still have time
CAM
Breasts.
I used to think the fact that every girl in Jr.High-1st year I dated or was madly in love with was at least a healthy c-cup was due to the fact that I was an adolescent perv, but really, just walking down the street I was amazed to see girls in Edmonton have huge cans. HUGE.
I dont know if it's the higher altitude, the down home cornfedness of it all or what, but it is mindboggling.
This too could account for the increased amount of sluts, skanks and ho's I run into in Edmonton as I find large breasted girls seem to predominantly fall into two categories
1) Girls who are obsessed with their jugs: They can be sly or they can be all out there but some girls with large breasts define themselves with them. This tends to mean showing a lot of cleavage or always wearing tight sweaters but definitely spending the majority of their life motivated and defined by sex, as seen by their defining characteristic: Their larger than average breasts. these are the sluts of our world. The "Big Titted Whores" if you will. Now , some are successful and don't become to trashy and are just kind of well honed nyphos who get what they want and have fun doing it thanks to their breasts (these incidently are the girls who make flatchested girls want boobjobs), some are destined to be the gross stripper at the start of the set but regardless these are the girls who first titfucked guys in Jr.High. These are the girls that populate Edmonton apparently.
The other kind? Oh.
2) Girls who are embarassed by their jugs: These girls probably developed first and crazily and/or weren't totally self-centered when they developed and/or were goths and/or when they developed huge breasts their dad's friends started hitting on them. Regardless these girls hate their breasts, probably wore sweatshirts a lot in grades 6-10. BUT all is not lost. These girls tend to develop hilarious personalities of self-deprecation, ballbusting hilarity or all out twisted anger to deal with the people who treat them like girl 1 and/or are obsessed with their breasts. These girls are the perfect teammate, roomate and confidante. You want them to get drunk and sleep with you or leave their fiancee for you. They are so together it hurts because they had to try so hard to define themselves against a stereotype they found themselves like a 100 million years before you did and without that stupid fucking trip to europe. These are the women Russ Meyer originally set out to portray before he got too obsessed with the first kind. Oh, and if you try to titfuck these girls they'll cut you good, and you deserve it pervo.
Man, I think my problem is I'm just not exposed to enough large breasts anymore. My knowledge is apparently really centered around them.
I'd better call up some Jr.High exes while I still have time
CAM
posted by Cam at 1:44 AM
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In completely unrelated news: Sebastian Gackhi was on Movie Central tonight starring as a bi-sexual (I think I didn't really care enough to watch very long) navy recruit in the fourth black skulls movie.
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