"I feel bad because she's bad at being a slut...being a slut is supposed to be funny"A week ago I spent my days and nights among the savages. Which is to say drunk sluts.
You know...the ones who actually are kathy's friends. The ones who don't need to filibuster the bouncers at Shine to get in even when they're on the list. The one's you spend all your pocket change on Coronas for. Only to blackout before you hit your charm apex.
Well lets just say their lifestyle impressed me and the above quote quite encapsulates their philosophy (Note:Mike Hingston you may stop here by me saying they are all like Kristin (seriously if you all watched Laguna Beach I wouldnt need to blog). Being a Slut is mostly about not taking yourself, your status and especially your sexuality seriously. Which is to say that these girls tear eachother a new asshole more often than lacrosse playing fratboys on spring break.
What impressed me though is the amount their tear themselves a new asshole.
When I see a slut going home with some random so-so attractive guy falling all over herself drunk probably barfing along the way I think "god what a pathetic person" and then make fun of her. Much to my surprise though this same girl would burst in the door the next day laughing and saying "GOD how pathetic was I last night" and making fun of the same falling over and same half erected fuglies they had in their vagina.
I hear a lot of freethinking people talking about casual sex and open relationships but to be honest 90% of them and us in general still treat our sexuality like a beautiful little flower. We are all pretty little girls in prom dresses and sluts are what we claim to be.
It didnt seem to be disinterest in longstanding relationships or love or wanting to be self destructive or pathetic cries for attention. It seemed to be people having a laugh at themselves and treating sex like a natural random occurence thats fun. And isn't that what sex should be?
Lately Sex has seemed to everyone as this crazily adult silver bullet which should be handled only in a spacesuit and only with your soulmate but seriously wouldnt it be fun to just be able to laugh at mistakes and chalk everything up to experience and move on. I still have phantom sensations of the huge bushes i've encountered and wake up sweaty dreaming of my failed attempts and near misses.
Instead of just laughing at these girls I found myself longing for the ability to be as comfortable with myself as them. They are all successful in business (something needs to keep you in new shoes and bacardi breezers) they all have more fun than me on average and they all have a lot of sex, some good some bad, but they enjoy themselves every step of the way.
Maybe being a neurotic virginal awkward dude that can't even get laid when he has a naked girl in the bed will do something for me in the long run but right now these sluts ought to be laughing at me sitting angrily on my couch as they pour out into some cab to a hostel with a bignosed aussie
Oh, also they taught me various surprising ways cocaine can affect your sexual performance but I think I was drunk enough that week to tell all of you that.
In other news I have a job as a Maid at a hotel and an interview at Guess in "The Mall" tomorrow. Edmonton's weather is schizophrenic. I have only seen one of my friends accidently (Mark) due to my constant job search. Girl's breasts are still bigger here. Everyone smokes more here. Mayflowers don't smell as good as cherry blossoms. I am going to get robbed here. I like my cooking better than my mom's. I like Logan finally but hate Lorelai. How will they sort out Pam and Jim? LIBBY SHOULD NOT BE DEAD! Bill is going to lose one of his wives fo serious. Go Joanie go! James Spader is going to have sex with Parker Posey (possibly in front of Shatner)! Cybermen are Attacking Dr.Who. Blondie is toooootally out on Greys. Beaver is the new Sloane. Sloane is the new Haley Joel Osment. And i'm sure they probably broke out of prison on prison break.
How will I survive with only Entourage, Rescue Me, Deadwood and more importantly The Hills?
I have a problem.
Love,
CAM
posted by Cam at 11:18 PM
4 Comments:
You at your finest.
Like I said, you've got the heart of a theorist.
I'm a male slut. I have a fair ammount of meaningless and casual sex but, unlike the common machismo, I don't brag about the girls I've "banged."
I take pride in being able to get sex. But conversely I think sex is dehumanizing in alot of ways, especially non-romantic sex. I know, in fact, because I have both dehumanized and been dehumanized by various sexual encounters.
It really sucks that everyone wants it. Because it would be alot better if it were just something that people who love each other did.
nb: I am now fully following the exploits of Laguna Beach season 2 on my tv. So great.
Do you know where being a "neurotic virginal awkward dude" will get you? I don't know, but I can tell you where it won't get you: in a clinic with a rash. Or on some afternoon TV special about how you're going to be dead of AIDS by 40.
Don't forget the more practical reasons for not sleeping with half of the city. One of my uncles died of AIDS, and I have an aunt slowing dying of hepatitis. How did they spend their 20s? Partying in Vancouver. It's not like these girls invented promiscuity.
I'm not using disease in a moralising way, it's just the fact of the matter. Fucking is like driving. You never know who's going to get into a car accident, but you might as well wear your seat belt. Or, more apt for the sluts, at least try not to drive directly into oncoming traffic.
May these sluts have as many babies as me except not the healthy friendly sorts, the sorts that needs weaning from drugs and alcohol since the day they were born just to fall back on old habits as a means to cope with a father that left the baby that never-shoulda-been.
The truth! Both sex and babies are natural and often 'random' occurences.looka-me! Life-changed-turned-advocate!
Okay, enough.
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