Hello Bonjour

Fuck I hate to travel.

Don't get me wrong I love to be in other places and I appreciate individual packets of pretzel and plastic cups of coke but the general milieu of travel is something I can barely handle.

I get nervous and pack too many things and then don't pack the most rudimentary things.

best stupid things ever packed : 3 formal suits for a 2 week visit

best thing forgotten: both my computer and cellphone charger (or this time every bathroom product possible)

I don't even know why I get nervous. Maybe because I alway think i'll miss a flight...maybe because I always have a feeling deep down in my gut i'll end up in a thai prison for drugs because my friends have pulled one over on me.

Also, perhaps my unassuming "totally fits in with the crowd" thing seems to make security uneasy. It's always about five minutes of explaining power adapters, chapsticks and much unbucklings and unlacings while being glowered at. In the end I'm always not a terrorist and always feel as though i've been very mildly raped. It's really enough to make you want to sneak contraband onto a plane.

But I suppose after that i'm quite good at planes. It's funny everyone seems most worried about the landings with the shaking and touching down but when I think I've never heard of a plane ploughing into the ground or an airport as it lands. It seems even bad landings are successful somehow.

Plus I always buy some regrettable magazine to look cool to whatever cheap thongtanlined co-ed is sitting to the left of the old lady sitting beside me.

It's 2006 why don't we have teleporters?

CAM