Amongst the garbled message lines and "Rajneet Advice" in my email inbox today I recieved a mess of nonsensical writing coupled with a link solicitation for perhaps the two best sounding pornography sites ever:

boys smoking . com

and, futhermore, boys pissing.com

Up until this point i've always felt it surely and moving about inside of me but now I'm certain:
I live the life of a porn star.

Twice as much on weekends