How I felt about tonight's concert interpreted through possible humorous titles to this blog entry
Whale Bone, Frog Eyes and Wolf Parade (No word on Donkey Pills, Dolphin Arm, Bear Umbrella or Bovine Transit)

Wait , that wasn't Frog Eyes?

"WOAH THIS KEYBOARD IS AWESOME. DO YOU THINK HE CAN TURN UP THE KEYBOARD ANYMORE? WOOO KEYBOARD"

Musician Hear Thyself

Encyclopedia Cam and The Curse of Glenn Gould

Hell Is Other People

I swear to god I'll rip your hairy fat head off your goddamn neck

Dispatches from an indescriminate listener

My favorite song was when it descended into an orgy of violent nonsense

and

Live Music is Made for Pretty Girls

(all in all it represented what I like best and hate most about live music in Vancouver)

Too Much Work Gives You A Heartattack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack
(Billy Joel reference entirely for Mr.Hingston)

I noticed the other day my paltry inability to photoblog so for one of my last dispatches about Edmonton I thought i'd throw up some photos lest I forget what everything looked like.
Awww check it out. Cam worked in an Army Surplus store. It wasn't a lie. You can tell because the photo is take from behind the counter.
Not pictured are the Crocs sandals we got in which we just got in and led to many a Randall Graves fight with Seniors and Children alike.

Awww i had a going away party to appease people. Here are some of my co-workers who weren't stupid.

Not Pictured: Actual Friends from my past who cannot be captured on film

Hey look its the new guy who I never worked with's girlfriend, the new guy I never worked with and my manager who was so out of it she insist rather than getting in the other picture I take one of her with the new guy I never worked with or was properly introduced to....
In case you are wondering the Bang-On is modelled after the Cherry Bomb one on Granville save one thing:

And as the final kick in my balls my work chose THE DAY I LEFT to unveil the wicked sweet light up Marc Bolan altar at which to pray to awesomeness. I could only but bask in it's glory in my fleeting 15 minute break.

But they made up for it in gift certificates.

suckers. I always used too many staples.

now you know why I didnt take many photos this summer...these were literally the best...

Dear Ndugu

Forgive a little self indulgence but I feel it's always best to reflect upon a trip home and two things i've learned seem to stick out

There's a 1996 Timothy Hutton vehicle which always plays on t.v. called "Beautiful Girls" which I managed to catch a few times over the course of the summer. I'd seen it a few times before egged on by both a poster of it in my highschool T.V. classroom (the posters were all of obscure movies our one teacher worked promotions on and it became a bit of a challenge to each student to watch them all) and by a list which noted Rosie O'Donnel's rant in the film as one of the "funniest scenes of all time" (The placement of which I disagree with but it included the underwater fight from "Top Secret" so I let it slide).

Regardless the film sports only one really standout interesting plotline following Hutton falling in love with his 13 year old neighbor played by Natalie Portman. They often joke how he's the bumbling Pooh bear to her more level headed Christopher Robin. In the end faced by her actually asking him out and his friends who are fathers wanting to beat the shit out of him he ends things telling her she'll forget about him in 5 years when boys actually start to see her and of course he ends it off by saying "Anyway the book ends with Christopher Robin growing too old and forgetting about Pooh".

Therein I think lies a big teenage/young adult fear of friendship vs. growing up and also therein lies a complete fallacy.

Everyone is afraid eventually they'll become boring or seem too much like the past and their friends will grow out of them as their Silly old Pooh. nobody wants to be that fat bear that seemingly due to stupidity and lack of dexterity can't get honey.

So, as teenagers we try our best to become more unique and interesting and, to extend a metaphor, to become Tiggers in our own way. I mean compare describing "a bear who wants hunny" to "Oh, he's not a tiger, he's a tigger. He bounces on his tail and is fun and, most importantly, he's absolutely the only one in the world". The latter description is definitely more badass. The kind of description you want to give while flinging a stuffed animal to the side before reclining someone on your bed to fuck them senseless. So yes, who wouldn't want to be a tigger?
But in the end i've found that it's that ingrained constant striving for change and uniqueness which drives us apart. We all find talents and follow strange paths to remain interesting individuals but our old friends and our past really just want Pooh bear to stay the same. It becomes hard to talk to people not because they just say the same things over and over but because they are saying things that confuse you or are so far off from what you are used to you are taken aback. Nobody should ever feel because they've lost old friends they are the neglected teddy bear in the back of the closet as, for the most part, you've lost friends simply because you've changed and become so unique those friends cannot relate to you anymore.

Something that always pisses me off about "in my day" speeches from adults is how now, due to the internet, we are expected to stay close with all our friends and keep lifelong connections with everyone from at least highschool back.

Growing apart is a natural process, not one of neglect and inconvenience and sure it's sad but it's just going to happen. Maybe someday your paths will cross in a way which you are interesting to eachother again but the saddest thing a person can do is maintain a relationship simply for show when you don't understand or care for someone anymore.

And now...to shift that opinion completely.


The best Superman story never written would be one wherein Lex Luthor never existed. No Metallo, no Darkseid, no Gorilla Grodd. If there were no villains superman would never need to use his powers and if he did you'd better believe average joes would put a kryptonite bullet in his brain faster than you can say man of steel.

One of the greatest shifts I went through from highschool to modern day is going from "nice guy who finished last" to "amusingly amoral disaffected dude". This was a change I always chalked up to growing older or beating beat down or some such thing but this summer I've realized there's a direct cause:

My Arch-Nemesis is gone.

Heck, my entire Rouge's Gallery is completely in shambles. Moving to Vancouver means having basically all brand new friends and constantly meeting new people means both that a) people I originally dislike or clash with can quite quickly become close friends and b) Friends become people I dislike so frequently and easily there's no point holding a grudge. This tends to leave me without people I hate with any consistent bile.

Without a detestable person for both myself and others to compare me to I become much less nice and heroic in the eyes of others. I'm not constantly beset upon by evil deeds of others so why feel sorry? I'm not constantly battling for myself or anyone else against something so why am I the nice, awesome guy?

The strangest thing of all is I miss my Nemesis.

And not just for the way she made me feel good about myself. I miss just hanging out and talking. I miss the vitriolic wordplay. I miss the deep emotional blows. The other day I passed by her house and you know, with the amount of time you spend battling someone in their lair it becomes a veritable home away from home. When I think back I must have spent New Years with them and we celebrated every birthday together and had many summer barbeques full of fun and laughs.

God damn it they were more than just an Arch-Nemesis...apparently they were one of my best friends.

And what's the options for reconcilliation there? Should one throw insults in their general direction and hope that they picks up and aims back or should one go with tail tucked between their legs and try to be friends instead of foes?

Growing up is such a strange process...and I'm such a strange person....

we are perfect for eachother.

Would you believe...second greatest generation?

We are coming up to a very interesting time in history.

When the current generation of elderly people passes away and the baby boomers take their place there is going to be a shift coming which most people don't anticipate.

You see in the future we won't have to respect the elderly.
Think about it.

At least in our lifetime it was best to respect and revere the elderly en masse for their contribution to either of the World Wars or the effect those wars had on them. If they were of another race, sex etc. you respect them for the ridiculous oppression they faced. Heck, they probably even respected their elders for pioneering the western world or sticking to their traditions or fighting in countless other wars of independance.

But with the passing of the so-called "greatest generation" so passes my ability to just let the elderly slide on mass respect. The next generation in line did what? a few fought in questionable wars...some helped increase understanding to causes...but there's no one thing they all really have in common which is worthy of my respect and thats not even mentioning the things they tended to do together which seem to have made this world shit. Heck you could hate the next generation of Seniors for the way they treated the current generation of seniors.

Granted some will say "with age comes wisdom" and it's true in a street-wise sense but to say that all old people are smart and wise and knowledgable is like saying all young people are stupid.

I'm not going to say "once these nice oldies kick it disrespect the rest". We should still care for the elderly and help them out with their needs but but why bother with a system which demands constant respect for people based soely on age? I'll respect the elderly like I respect other people: On a completely individual basis. If you are a crochety old man expect to be treated like an asshole fratboy. It's all I'm saying.

Look out boomers for we are your echo

I bet you wish you didn't have so much sex now.

A Truth For Everyone In My Cellphone Phonebook
- I'm sad we've grown apart but it's your fault
- My success depends on you
- I'm nervous around you because I think you're attracted to me
- I don't trust anyone you date
- You were right to stop being friends with me
- I know you think little of me
- I think I grew out of you
- I only wanted you because I couldn't have you
- Your coke addiction is wasting your talents
- I thought you'd be cheaper than regular cab companies but you aren't
- I regret not having sex with you in highschool when I had the chance
- You should charge people more to live in your basement suite
- Your family makes me not want to spend time with you
- I made friends with you because I had a crush on your sister
- I miss you but we're both too cool to admit it
- Sometimes I'm just friends with you because your missteps make me feel better about my choices
- I don't know why you put up with me
- You are an alcoholic and there's nothing I can do about it
- You don't need me anymore
- I dont trust you
- I don't really like you or understand why everyone else does
- Sometimes I'm embarassed by how you choose to live your life
- I'm never going to call you
- You were totally right to set me up with her but I can't admit that or I'll look foolish
- You aren't just like your mom
- I'll never fully forgive you for some of the things you've done
- I wish I didn't have to go through the motions of still being your friend
- I still don't remember making out with you
- You are a spoiled idiot
- I can't date you because I'm shallow not because I'm heartbroken
- It makes me feel stupid how much more mature you are than me. But it makes you LOOK stupid so I feel okay about it.
- The reason we aren't better friends is you can't get over thinking you are cooler than me
- I've heard bad things about you but I give you the benefit of the doubt
- You smell like B.O. most of the time
- We have nothing in common
- I constantly worry you will turn out to be not as good a person as you seem to be
- Every problem you have is caused by yourselves holding you back
- I'm friends with you because I'm in love with you and hope that'll help get me 'in'
- All your other friends scare me
- I know you think I'm racist but I hope I turn out like you when I grow up
- We were all only attracted to your giant breasts
- I'd be a better friend to you if you didn't make me engage in physical activities
- I always used to think you were hitting on me when you were just being nice
- You are my best friend even though I'm not even close to your best friend
- I know You'll never follow through on all our plans
- I'm sorry I used you
- Your personality drives me insane
- You also tend to smell like B.O.
- I think we'd make a good married couple except we arent attracted to eachother
- I'm afraid If i spend more time with you I wont like you as much
- I keep two separate entries so I can know where you are when you call
- You are not the life of the party but the death
- I can't understand most of what you say
- Your sex talk makes me uncomfortable
- It's hard to be named Warren or Yuka because you never get told the truth